That's how bakers roll

AFTER three-plus decades, my children are still awaiting a homemade birthday cake and I can safely say it'll be roughly never that I make one.

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I'll keep sticking candles in an M&S confection instead, leaving me time to watch THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF (C4, 8pm). I am fascinated by people who know their way around a piping bag, and being back in the tent with the cosy bunting and Prue and Paul and Noel and Alison always helps me deal with the whole back-to-school vibe of this week.

It's Bake Off's 16th series and rumours are flying that there's another "Bin Gate" moment this series. I am here for it! Remember how in 2014 Diana removed Iain's baked Alaska from the freezer and he threw a strop and chucked it in the bin? Delicious drama.