Love in disguise

Many of us grew up believing that it is bad to be angry.

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Anger is often seen as a sign of weak character or poor upbringing. When we flare up, we are told to “stay calm,” “count to10,” or “breathe deeply,” as if these could dissolve the irritation and hurt caused by life’s provocations. It is about time we discarded that notion. We should not always feel guilty when we are angry, because anger can be love in disguise.

The next time you get mad at someone, don’t ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way? Am I overreacting?” Instead, ask, “What is it that I love so deeply that this person is threatening or destroying?”

Consider this: You rarely get angry over things you do not value. You are not hurt when a stranger ignores you. But if your best friend or spouse for-

gets your birthday, their neglect can feel like a knife to the heart. Your fists clench, your pulse quickens, and your mind races with ways to make them feel your pain. You expect more from those who matter to you.