Dry humour isn't funny

Showers and dishes must wait - even the dog's bowl is rationed - as Joburg experiences yet another sustained service delivery failure

- Christian Stephen

It is early on Monday morning and I wake to the sound of a rumble of thunder and a flash of lightning. This is followed by the unmistakable sound of raindrops on the roof. The promised cold front has arrived.

Ignoring the icy cold I leap out of bed and rush outside barefoot to check that my primitive water collection system is in place.

The old plastic rubbish bin and the vintage zinc bathtub have to be positioned correctly to catch the maximum amount of water running down from my leaking gutters. The reason for this frantic early morning activity is that our suburb is one of the many that have been affected by the ongoing water crisis.

The east of Joburg has been particularly badly hit recently and I have not had water for at least eight days since the one day where there was a weak trickle from the taps. Before that there was no water for three or four days at a time and when there was water it was switched off at night in what Joburg Water terms "throttling".

This violent-sounding nocturnal activity is to allow our much-abused reservoir to recover and fill to a level where at least some areas can get some water the next day.

The result of this situation is that my vast collection of five-litre plastic bottles that I spent the summer months filling with rainwater has been depleted and flushing the toilet is becoming a problem. An attack by a nasty stomach bug that required multiple toilet flushings didn't help.