RICHARD IRVINE

DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST TIME DAD OF TWINS

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For the past few days, I've regressed into a past long forgotten. For reasons of geography, the ludicrous amount of time it takes to sell a house, and starting a new job near my parents, I've moved back into my childhood home for three days a week.

There was initial resistance from all parties, with Victoria concerned she would be working full time, in charge of school pick-ups, drop-offs, meals, and all in-between. Despite my reassurance that's why we had television and frozen pizza, she remained concerned.

My very own dear mother greeted the news by saying: "With us, how long, I mean it should be fine, if we're here, and remember I've got the cat."

I'm allergic to anything with fur and the feline in question was mysteriously acquired when I moved out as a kind of insurance policy I didn't move back in.