Christmas without my dear Black Santas

The loss from January's fires hit me anew this season, when we would usually be unpacking our beloved heirlooms. But whether I'm ready or not, new Santas are coming into my life.

- KATRINA FREENY GUEST CONTRIBUTOR

A LONDON EVENT called "Noir Kringle: The Black Santa's Grotto Experience." Many families treasure nonwhite Santas.

(ALISHIA ABODUNDE Getty Images)

THIS WILL BE my first Christmas since losing my treasured collection of Black Santas. They, along with the rest of my belongings and my Altadena home, were reduced to rubble in the catastrophic Eaton fire in January.

The loss hit me all over again this holiday season, when my daughter and I would usually be taking these heirlooms out of storage to decorate the tree and our home. I find myself asking a question that has no easy answer: How do you rebuild something that was filled with irreplaceable love?

My grandmother, who taught ceramics classes, made me my very first Black Santa Claus. That Santa was small, maybe 7 inches tall, dressed in his traditional red and white suit. The only thing that stood out about him was his skin color.

I grew up in a small town in Illinois, where I never saw African American Santas or angels or any other holiday figures. I'd always loved Christmas, a time when my family gathered together and made memories playing board games or building snowmen, but having a Santa that looked like me made my connection to the holiday even deeper.

All of the earliest items in my collection were handmade because you couldn't find Black Santas in the stores in the 1970s. Instead, family members purchased white Santas and painted over them for me.