WE ARE OUT OF SYNCH

I’M not interested in sex at 3am.

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I don't appreciate my girl climbing on top of me and demanding I perform on command.

Too often, recently I've been roused from a deep sleep by her pulling at my pyjamas bottoms and shoving her naked boobs in my face. I don’t find it sexy, and I don’t find it cool.

She berates me for being grumpy and unadventurous but I'm no performing seal.

The problem is our body clocks are out of sync.

I work a regular eight to four job. Her hours are ten to six, which is fine but then she stays up all night on her laptop.

I go to bed at 10pm but she’s not interested in joining me. Instead, she stays downstairs messaging “friends” and chatting on online forums.

I know she has Canadian pals and cousins. She's also a big fan of Marvel films and chats to other fans across the globe.