The indecency of the Cannes Red Carpet's decency rules

WE REGRET to inform your Instagram feed that there will be no exposed nipples on the Cannes Film Festival's red carpet this year.

- By Katharine K. Zarrella

There will, officially, “for decency reasons,” be no nudity at all. No “naked dressing” then and also apparently none of the opposite: “voluminous outfits,” including dresses with attention-dragging trains.

All this is new, ever since the opulent 12-day affair that kicked off Tuesday announced these rules just a day earlier. And, given how much fun the celebrities who show up have had over the years wearing not much or too much on the red carpet, in order to look their best and maybe set themselves up for a viral moment, the whole thing seems especially galling.

Yes, it’s inconvenient for the stars, who plan their outfits months in advance. It’s also bad for us, the fans, who live for this stuff that we obviously ourselves can never wear.

The Cannes power play is tone-deaf at best, and misogynistic at worst. It also comes at a time when women’s autonomy over their bodies is being threatened worldwide. “It’s really not up to any person,” said the stylist Karla Welch, whose clients include Hailey Bieber, Tracee Ellis Ross, and Karlie Kloss, “to tell women how to express themselves.” She added, “It’s not up to a governing body to tell us how to be in the world. We don’t need governing bodies governing our bodies.”

“In our red-carpet culture, if a woman just wears a pretty dress, oh, she’s so boring. Oh, she’s so plain,” said Mickey Boardman, the director of special projects at Paper magazine. “Women get crucified no matter what they do. You tell them they have to be one thing and now you're punishing them. It’s ridiculous.”