It's time to come clean about Cup of Tea test

DISHING THE DIRT ON PALS' APOCALYPSE NOW' HOME

- HANNAH JONES Columnist

I’VE just told somebody, without a moment's hesitation, that I have a peanut allergy.

For good measure, I added I'm also gluten-free.

I can only apologise to all of you living with these conditions, but I was under considerable pressure at the time.

The lie tumbled out because new friends had invited us over for dinner. After a recce, I can safely say I don’t want to go to their house to sit down, let alone eat there.

It’s more than a little bit ych a fi - Valleys speak for absolutely ming-ing.

I discovered this when we were asked to water their plants. Naturally, I sent my husband, Posh Paws, in first with the spare keys. He's got the stronger stomach.

I live by the Cup of Tea test. If I wouldn't want to drink a cuppa in a place, it fails.

Within moments of his return, Posh Paws confirmed: “You wouldn't have a cup of tea in there.”

And blimey, was he right.