MACHINE LOVING

Many modern relationships start with a phone notification—a text from the stranger from last night, a delightful chime that you're a match, a haptic vibrating your hand. Daters are using ChatGPT and Claude to craft their profiles and witty messages. People are even skipping human dating altogether in favor of AI. It's fair to say our romantic relationships are becoming dependent on our use of technology.

- BY MYISHA BATTLE

The term digisexual was coined in 2017 to identify those whose primary sexual experiences are mediated by technology, meaning they prefer tech-based sex as opposed to flesh-based sex.

By that definition, there's a growing number of digisexuals out in the dating scene.

According to a 2023 Pew Research Center report, 30% of U.S. adults, and 53% under the age of 30, have used a dating site or app. Interestingly, only 10% of partnered people polled met in this way. That means that many daters who use apps are engaging with this technology without seeing the results that they signed up for. Of course, not everyone wants a relationship, but according to surveys conducted by Tinder, the most-used dating app in the country, the majority of daters do.

As a result, many daters are frustrated by their relationships with the apps. In fact, those relationships are often the only ones they get from dating online.

Another phenomenon I'm seeing more and more often is people who would rather text, video call, and engage with their matches through social media than ever meet in person. Only after weeks, months, or sometimes over a year of tech-based communication will some of my clients realize they should meet their connection in person.