IT'S TIME TO SET BOUNDARIES

Here’s the thing: kids have always pushed limits and asked for things that aren’t good for them; in fact, this is part of kids doing their job, as they're meant to explore the world and figure out the edges” or limits. And while kids continue to do their job, parents are really struggling to do theirs—and as a result, the family system is off-balance and mental health is suffering.

- BECKY KENNEDY

We’ve all seen the data around phones, social media, and the youth mental-health crisis. We know this generation of children has staggering rates of anxiety and depression. As a clinical psychologist specializing in parenting and family relationships, I’m as concerned as anyone and yet I’ve been shocked that one key word— really, a key foundational principle in life—has been left out of the conversation: boundaries.

The cost of not being able to set boundaries with kids has never been higher. Decades ago, if parents struggled to hold boundaries and tolerate pushback, a child might have had an extra cupcake or stayed out too late. Today the cost of not being able to set boundaries looks more like freely scrolling TikTok at age 8 or playing endless hours of video games at the expense of participating in the real world. I agree that we are facing a crisis— and yet I don’t see only a crisis of phones and social media, I also see a crisis of what I call Sturdy Leadership at a time when our kids need it more than ever.