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5 ways to get better at small talk

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June 12, 2023

FORGET THE "DON'T TALK TO strangers" maxim you learned as a kid: brief, pleasant exchanges with people you don't know well (or at all) can enhance your happiness, mood, energy, and overall well-being.

- ANGELA HAUPT

5 ways to get better at small talk

That's because small talk often promotes learning, expands your worldview, and contributes to a sense of belonging.

You can maximize these benefits by chatting up a wide range of people, research suggests. Conversing with your colleagues, barista, Uber driver, and the person surveying the ice cream aisle with you builds what's called relational diversity, which is a unique predictor of well-being.

Despite the benefits, many of us hate small talk. We often assume that the people around us aren't interested or won't like us but research indicates that we tend to underestimate how much our conversation partners enjoy our company, a phenomenon called "the liking gap." "We all have this negative voice in our heads that tells us we're not very good at this social stuff," says Gillian Sandstrom, a senior lecturer at the University of Sussex in England and a leading researcher on the benefits of casual interactions. "But the data suggest that people actually like you more than you think they do." The more you do it, she's found, the more natural it will feel.

We asked experts to share their favorite strategies for getting better at small talk because there's only so much you can say about the weather.

1. Take advantage of "free information"

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