Ruling the roost

We have a new game at Lush Places. It's called Find the Egg. It takes two people and three chickens, and this is how you play: The game begins when one of your chickens - your lazy, greedy, crap-everywhere chicken - starts singing her "I've laid a lovely egg!" song. She will do this very loudly, so loudly you should expect noise complaints from neighbours.

- Greg Dixon

She will then be joined in her celebration by at least one other chicken, which will sing a similar, also very loud song called, "She's laid a lovely egg!"

The chickens will keep singing these songs until they get sick of it or you open a window and yell, "For the love of God, shut the hell up! If you don't, I'll cook you at 180°C for 12 hours or until you're delicious, whichever comes first."

When the racket finally dies down - and this may take some time - the game will become much less noisy, but even more frustrating as you try to Find the Egg.