Death Doulas provide compassionate care

as end-of-life journey approaches

- LIZ ALTERMAN

Watching a family member or friend approach their final days is devastating and stressful in ways that few are prepared to navigate.

Helping ease the transition at this last stage of life, death doulas provide compassionate care across a range of support services for the dying and their loved ones.

Janie Rakow, founder of FareWell Doula and co-founder and past president of International End-of-Life Doula Association (INELDA), noted that while many people are aware of birth doulas, who assist during pregnancy and labor, fewer are familiar with the concept of death doulas.

End-of-life doulas bridge gaps in hospice care and can help create legacies, conduct rituals, plan vigils, lead guided visualizations and lend helping hands.

“We can start as early as when anyone wants to talk about their death and figure out advanced directives or funeral arrangements,” Rakow said. “Sometimes I get called in very late stages, even when the person is no longer conscious just to help their loved ones understand the process, educate them about what dying looks like, and then remain with them afterward to talk about the grieving process.”

Geri Topfer, who sought Rakow’s help when her mom was dying, noted that doulas “can be a touchstone for family members,” allowing them to talk about raw feelings and educating them.

A Unique Calling

Rakow began her work as an end-of-life doula more than two decades ago when she shifted from her career as a certified public accountant to support and guide others through the process of dying.

“When I was in my early 20s, I had a best friend who was killed in New York City,” Rakow recalled. “She was hit by a bus, and it sent me on a journey about death and dying and I read all these books, and it was always kind of an interest for me.”

Years later, Rakow was living in New Jersey when the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks occurred.