The Secret to 60 Years

Know someone who is tying the knot this summer? Here's some surprising advice from a longtime spouse

- By ELIZABETH “TIB” SHERRILL, Contributing Editor

A LOVE THAT LISTENS Tib and John learned how to speak so the other would hear.

For our sixtieth wedding anniversary, John and I planned a little party. My thoughts went back to another party we threw nearly 50 years earlier. That was a sixtieth anniversary celebration too—my grandparents’. For a week before that event, I vacuumed, washed windows, borrowed dishes. I even splurged on a cleaning lady to help me wash and wax the floors. Mrs. Hargrove was a large, silent, efficient person who went stolidly about her work without much interest in the reason for all these party preparations. “Just think, Mrs. Hargrove,” I said, trying to draw her into my excitement, “sixty years together!” Nothing but the sound of the mop slapping the floor. At last, Mrs. Hargrove picked up the bucket and made her only comment on the subject: “An awful long time with just one man.”

Now, half a century later, preparing for our own sixtieth milestone, I remembered that remark. And knew why Mrs. Hargrove was wrong. The reason can be summed up in a single word. A word that, when I was growing up, was part of every marriage service. A word I used to hate.

Like most little girls, I loved weddings. The flowers, the bridesmaids’ dresses, the bride in her white veil... It was romantic and wonderful! Until the beautiful bride had to promise to “love, honor and obey” her husband. It’s not fair! I'd want to cry from the pew where I sat in my white gloves. I would never, ever, I decided as the newlywed couple came down the aisle together, make such a promise to someone.