Taken for Granted?

I wondered if my husband even realized how much I did for us

- By DIANE STARK, Brazil, Indiana

My husband, Eric, was driving us to his mom's birthday party, just across town.

"By the way, the shipping was delayed on your mom's present," I said, "so we don't have anything to give her today."

I was about to add that I should've gotten a card for us to write that her present was on the way but stopped when I saw Eric's mouth drop.

"We don't?" he said sharply.

"No, we don't," I snapped. "Because the present I ordered—well ahead of time, I might add—hasn't arrived yet."

Eric didn't say a word. That's because he knows I'm right, I thought.

I adore my mother-in-law, and I was happy to handle getting her a gift, but why did my husband just assume that I would take care of it? And this was for his mom! Why didn't Eric give her birthday present a single thought until we were on the way to her party?

Maybe because he had gotten used to me handling everything that kept our household running. After all, I bought all the gifts—Easter, Christmas, birthday—for our five kids, Eric's mom... basically everyone but myself. I maintained our family calendar and knew exactly where we had to be and when. I kept track of the kids' activities and knew when it was our turn to bring the meal for our life group at church. The grocery list? Cooking? Laundry? All my responsibility for years. Without me, the fridge would be empty, no one would have clean clothes to wear, and there wouldn’t be any toilet paper!

I didn’t always feel this way. For the first 12 years of our marriage, Eric had run a business with 90 employees while I'd been a stay-at-home mom. His job was demanding, and he worked hard to support our family. It made sense for me to run the household then. But now I was working too, and our household responsibilities hadn't changed much.