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I'm Thriving. My Best Friend Isn't. Is It Wrong to Tell Her About My Wins?

Cosmopolitan US

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Issue 08, 2022

Our advice columnist, therapist Minaa B., weighs in on what to do when your highs threaten to exacerbate your friend's lows.

- SOFIE BIRKIN

I'm Thriving. My Best Friend Isn't. Is It Wrong to Tell Her About My Wins?

Dear Minaa, My bestie and I have been super close since we were kids-we sold Girl Scout cookies together, shared the same middle school crush (he still doesn't know!), and whispered secrets late into the night at every childhood sleepover. She truly knows me better than anyone else does.

But lately, our relationship has hit a bit of a pause. I think it's because she's simply...not living her best life at the moment. Her career is stagnant, her mental health is in rough shape after a bad breakup, she has a lot of credit card debt, and (understandably) she's not happy about any of it. I, however, am kind of killing it. My relationship, career, finances-they're all in a great place.

I completely understand how lucky I am, and I want to share my happiness with my friend. But whenever I do, I feel bad because I know her situation. And she always *seems* excited for me, but she never really follows up.

Again, I don't blame her, but I'm really sad that we've been talking less than we used to it's hard to connect on anything because we're on such different pages. And when we do talk, I worry it seems like I come to her only to brag about my life even though I just want her to be part of that life.

I truly believe that celebrating each other's successes should be a keystone of our friendship, but am I wrong? Am I damaging her mental health further by making her feel like she's only falling more and more behind?

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