Try GOLD - Free
LIFE ADVICE WITH ANIMAL ANALOGIES
The New Yorker
|November 11, 2024
Go with the flow like a dead fish.

If you don't like where the flow is going, stop the flow like a beaver does with wood.
Laughter is the best medicine, unless you laugh like a hyena, in which case you should laugh like a hamster. (Hamsters don't laugh.)
Pursue your goals with passion and determination like a mountain lion stalking a household pet.
Remember that it's all about the journey, not the destination. So enjoy the views along the way like a mountain lion watching a household pet's owner heading off to work.
No matter what life throws at you, always keep one foot on the ground like a pink flamingo and your head buried in the sand like an ostrich. This may sound impossible, but you can do it if you practice Pilates.
Age gracefully but invisibly, like a pigeon.
This story is from the November 11, 2024 edition of The New Yorker.
Subscribe to Magzter GOLD to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 10,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
MORE STORIES FROM The New Yorker

The New Yorker
Coconut Flan
Somehow, after the plane landed though before Andrés and Daria reached the taxi stand, Daria's wallet went missing.
22 mins
October 13, 2025

The New Yorker
SEASON OF DISCONTENT
Gustavo Dudamel at the New York Philharmonic; \"Kavalier & Clay\" at the Met.
6 mins
October 13, 2025

The New Yorker
THE TALK OF THE TOWN
For someone openly campaigning to get a Nobel Peace Prize, Donald Trump has been going about it in an unusual way. Early last month, the President proclaimed in a press conference that the Department of Defense would thereafter be known as the Department of War. At the same briefing, the presumed new Secretary of War, Pete Hegseth, promised that the armed forces will deliver “maximum lethality” that won't be “politically correct.” That was a few days after Trump had ordered the torpedoing of a small boat headed out of Venezuela, which he claimed was piloted by “narco-terrorists,” killing all eleven people on board, rather than, for instance, having it stopped and inspected. After some military-law experts worried online that this seemed uncomfortably close to a war crime, Vice-President J. D. Vance posted, “Don't give a shit.”
4 mins
October 13, 2025

The New Yorker
THESE BLACK BOOTS ARE DIFFERENT FROM THOSE BLACK BOOTS
These have an almond toe.
2 mins
October 13, 2025

The New Yorker
LOCKED IN
Two murders, a strike, and an explosive year inside New York's prisons.
41 mins
October 13, 2025

The New Yorker
DON'T BLAME ME
Taylor Swift's new album eschews vulnerability for revenge.
6 mins
October 13, 2025

The New Yorker
CONTINENTAL DREAMS
African independence was a time of high hopes. What happened?
16 mins
October 13, 2025

The New Yorker
OUT OF OFFICE
Can a Prime Minister have work-life balance? Sanna Marin tried.
24 mins
October 13, 2025

The New Yorker
ALMA MATER
\"After the Hunt.\"
6 mins
October 13, 2025

The New Yorker
THE HAGUE ON TRIAL
Political intrigue—and a lurid scandal—rocks the International Criminal Court.
22 mins
October 13, 2025
Listen
Translate
Change font size