Weather or not to go sailing

Ignore the apps: it's much safer to swear by the weather wisdom of a local oracle

- Dave Selby

With advances in technology, modern weather forecasts are at least 100% accurate, if not more. And although dog walkers, keen gardeners, leisure sailors and anyone who goes outside may contest this, it's backed up irrefutably by the science, as I can prove.

For example, when they say it's going to rain it does, and to the very minute, as if commanded by some higher being; and when they say the wind will be north-east Force 3 it most certainly will be, beyond any possible doubt. It's not the fault of meteorologists if dog walkers, gardeners and sailors happen to be in a different place from where the weather's actually happening, or on a different day. In other words, it's the weather that's right and us who are wrong.

Another problem with the weather is that there's just too much of it, but thankfully now that the BBC has ditched The Shipping Forecast on long wave there's a little bit less. The resulting reduction of anxiety is worth the licence fee alone, and if only they'd can The Shipping Forecast altogether-particularly the one at 05:20 -the nation would sleep better.