A narrow escape

Dave struggles to remember why owning a classic boat is such a privilege...

- Dave Selby

Naturally, one never really owns a boat such as Lady Osmosis of Romford, one is merely her custodian for one's time on earth... You can substitute the boat name of your choice here, because anyone who has ever walked into a yacht club has heard the story countless times before.

The first half dozen times you probably felt privileged to hear what an immense privilege it was to own such a boat. "It's our duty to preserve her for posterity and pass her on to the next generation," sighs the saviour of this priceless piece of maritime heritage as he lingeringly sucks the last of his beer and holds your gaze through the frothy porthole at the bottom of his glass, as the bar thins out. It's humbling to hear such humility, so the least you can do is buy the chap a pint, but then it starts to get mucky and maudlin.