“HOW” matters as much as the “WHAT”

People may not always remember what you told them, but they will never forget how you made them feel. There is always a difference between what you say and how you say something. Even if what you want to say is legit, the way in which you communicate it can alter the way it will be perceived.

- ANNAPOORANI BARANI

Think of words. When said with power, they create an indelible impact in people’s minds. Often times, it’s not instances of celebratory appeal that reveal the power of words. It’s usually those moments when you want to disagree, disapprove of something or someone’s behaviour, reprimand and the list is endless. Frequently, you are always mistaken during such moments not because of what you said, but how you said it. Your intentions were not wrong, but the manner in which you said it made the receiver feel as though he or she was being ridiculed. The result — your message was received with aversion or you came across as someone seeking to protect his or her own interests. Even if your intentions were genuine, your way of communication didn’t reflect it.

Over the years, I have noticed it’s not only words that can clearly differentiate how we say from what we intend to. Our voice tonality, expressions and gestures too can create a wide gap between the “what” and the “how” and we surely have the means to correct it. Here are a few ways how our messages in such situations can be received sportively without altering the crux of what we intended to mean through them.

Rephrase!

Many a time, a change in words can spare you your reputation. My dad used to famously quote: