The Art Of Apologising

Learning how to say sorry the right way can create stronger bonds with loved ones

- Alicia Pyke, Amy Hadley

Step 1 OWN UP & TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

Nobody likes to admit they’re wrong, but a genuine apology always starts by accepting responsibility. Try saying the words, “I’m sorry and I hope you can forgive me,” straight away and admit your regrets.

An apology should take place as soon as possible, face to face and in private.

But even if you need to make amends days or weeks after the incident, put yourself in the other person’s shoes so they sense your empathy and sincerity.

“If you can genuinely imagine how the other person feels, it will add to the gravitas of the apology,” says etiquette expert Anna Musson.

Step 2 KEEP IT REAL

In addition to accepting responsibility for your error, an elegant apology includes a clear and brief explanation of what went wrong and why. “An explanation seems less genuine if it’s complicated,” Anna adds.

Whatever you do, don’t try to shift the blame or justify your actions. If you took your grandson for a spontaneous haircut and your daughter-in-law is furious his perfect curls turned into a crew cut, take a moment to explain your intention to be helpful.

Resist the temptation to blame her by saying you wouldn’t have had to take him for a haircut if she hadn’t let his hair grow so long in the first place.

Step 3 NOW IT’S YOUR TURN TO LISTEN