The clues to ROMANCE

Two of Rachel’s old flames were at the same murder mystery event – but would either of them survive it?

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It is now acknowledged by most experts that a young woman is rarely at her best while lying in a turnip field, pretending to be dead. This was just one of the things bothering Rachel Cooper one Sunday morning.

‘I wish they’d hurry up,’ she complained. ‘It’s freezing here, and the ground is damp.’

‘Hush!’ said the corpse of the vicar lying next to her, whom we must introduce as a young man in his 30s called Adam Grant. ‘They’ll be here soon.’

‘Your wound has fallen off,’ said Rachel. ‘Help me put it back on, would you?

If you hold it tightly enough, it’s supposed to just stick to the throat.’

Let’s leave them applying theatrical first aid for a moment and consider what might be your reaction if, strolling past a field in Suffolk and minding your own business, you spotted a clergyman on the ground while a young woman grasped him firmly around the neck.

You’d probably mutter to yourself, ‘Oh no, not another murder mystery weekend! Probably up from London with their screaming and pistol shots at all hours. Have they no consideration?’

You’d be right. Rachel and Adam are a clue. A party of investigators is supposed to be on their way, where they expect to find vital papers which might or might not explain the mysterious death of Sir Stanley Netherway, the unpopular squire of Netherway Hall.

Unfortunately, the investigators lingered over breakfast, then went to the lavatory and then had trouble sorting out their Wellington boots. Which means that Rachel and Adam have had plenty of time to chat about old times.