Our journeys to MOTHERHOOD

We speak to three women about how and why they followed different paths to become a mum

- KARA O'NEILL

‘I FEEL PRIVILEGED TO HAVE A ROLE IN THEIR LIVES’

Charlie Beswick, 42, is the founder of Mindset Management Coaching and Training, and lives in Stoke-on-Trent with fiancé Andrew, 47, her twin boys, Oliver and Harry, 15, and Andrew’s children Benedicta, 16, and Harrison, 13.

I suppose you could say I became a stepmum in January 2012, when I was first introduced to Andrew’s children. We’d been together for nine months by that point, keen to take things extremely slowly when it came to blending our families together.

I had twin boys from a previous relationship, Oliver and Harry, then five, and Andrew had Benedicta, also five, and Harrison, three. It was important to me that things started out on a positive note, so with Andrew’s blessing, I messaged his ex – their mum – to explain that I wasn’t trying to replace her. I wanted her to know that I understood it might be difficult not knowing much about the woman who her kids were spending time with, but I’d do my very best to love them and look after them while they were in my care.

Admittedly, I was incredibly nervous hitting Send, but actually, it turned out my instincts were right and she appreciated me introducing myself and making contact.

I’ll admit, being a stepmum has its challenges. For the first four years, I didn’t really feel like I could discipline Andrew’s children in the way I would my own. Instead, I’d have a quiet word with Andrew and ask him to address any issues. It was awkward as I wanted the children to like me, but I needed them to respect me, too. Fortunately, they were very well-behaved children so I didn’t have to go to Andrew very often.