My Plan for World Domination

My plan for world domination is simple: vacuum cleaners. Of course, as with any fiendishly clever plan, mine has certain nuances. And although it does not involve laser beams, piranha, or secret lairs inside volcanoes, I think you will agree that my plan is quite diabolical.

- KEN C. POHLMANN

First, I will create a company with a cute, friendly name. Then I will build: vacuum cleaners; a web browser, search engine, and video-sharing website; a smartphone operating system used by 70 percent of all smartphones; mapping software with tremendously detailed maps, satellite photos, and street views; real-time road information for drivers showing things like roadside hazards; and voice-assisted smart speakers, webcams and other smart home devices like doorbells and thermostats.

Next, I will interconnect all my vacuum cleaners. After that, I will know when you wake up, how warm your bedroom is, who you are texting, what you are streaming, where you drive your car, what you search for, the web pages you view, and so on. If I lack any other personal data, such as credit card information, I simply buy it. I obtainan amazingly accurate picture of your life.