What's Strong With Me?

The Soul of Therapy

- By Kevin Anderson, Ph.D.

I constantly compare myself to people I know or to complete strangers. Do other people do this? It’s a big part of my self-esteem problem! I never feel beautiful enough, loving enough, successful enough, happy enough, or spiritual enough. Even this comparison habit seems like something wrong with me compared to others. Why am I so obsessed with comparing?

KEVIN: The first thing I want you to know is that you’re not living with some weird, rare affliction. Given Earth’s current population, I’d say the answer to “Do other people do this?” is: “Yes, yes, eight billion times yes!” I hope you can let go of comparing your comparing!

In A World Waiting to Be Born, psychiatrist M. Scott Peck wrote: “Richard Bolles once labeled human beings as ‘the comparing creatures.’ It is an apt designation. By virtue of our awareness of self, we are endlessly comparing ourselves with others. Are we bigger or smaller? More or less beautiful, handsome? Younger or older? Richer or poorer? Smarter or more stupid? Less or more powerful? Et cetera, et cetera ad infinitum. Our destiny as comparing creatures, ceaselessly measuring ourselves against our fellow beings, is simultaneously one of the greater blessings and curses of the human condition.”