I ACCIDENTALLY BOUGHT A BAG OF NO-PURPOSE FLOUR. NOW WHAT???

LOOK. LISTEN. WHEN you’re a busy career woman and mom of 17 who’s always on the go and just trying to have it all, grocery trips need to be quick, efficient affairs. I’ve learned to anticipate well in advance that at some point, my 284-week-old triplets will once again want to make ferret-shaped cupcakes. And I’ve learned to be prepared. Or so I thought.

- Sophie Kohn

I can’t explain how it happened. I remember being in the grocery store. I remember grabbing the bag of flour off the shelf. No I did not, quote, “HAVE TIME” to check if the bag said “All-Purpose,” “Some-Purpose,” “Undisclosed-Purpose” or “Still Searching For Its Purpose.” But when I got home and dumped my groceries on the kitchen island, it became clear: the bag said “No-Purpose.” It was one of the most chilling moments of my adult life, perhaps second only to the night my three toddlers informed me in unison that they needed to make ferret-shaped cupcakes. They were standing over my bed when they said it. It was 4:12 a.m.