GRIEF HAS NO TIME LIMIT

Losing someone you are close to changes everything. Here’s how grief may feel and how to get through it

- GEORGINA MARIC

Death is, of course, inevitable, but when someone you love dies, the loss of them can have huge repercussions on the rest of your life. Now, in the midst of a global pandemic, deaths are dominating the news, and grief is being experienced by many more people, often suddenly and without warning.

As Operations Manager for Cruse Bereavement Care Nicola Dias says, ‘There is no “normal” way to grieve. There is also no timeline. Grief can take a long time.’

Stages of grief

Grieving is a normal, healthy process that we must all face. ‘Everyone will feel different emotions while grieving, and also at different stages of their grief,’ says Nicola. ‘Numbness, guilt, relief and anger are some of the common feelings we may experience when someone close to us dies.

Along with loneliness and upset, there are other perhaps unexpected reactions you may experience:

✢ Shock: Even if the death of the person was expected, when someone who was a big part of your life dies, it can still be very shocking.

✢ Overwhelmed: You may react straight away and not be able to stop crying, and then worry that your grief feels so devastating you don’t know how you’ll live with it. ‘Over time, feelings of grief and loss tend to become less intense, and you begin to find a way to live with them,’ says Ken Blanton, Specialist Counsellor at the Sue Ryder charity.

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