Should I Feel Guilty About Being Happy?

Author and teacher RABBI RAMI SHAPIRO has been called “one of the best bridges of Eastern and Western wisdom.” His newest book is The World Wisdom Bible.

- Rabbi Rami Shapiro

My life has been blessed in so many ways, yet I feel guilty being happy when there is so much suffering in the world. What should I do?

Rabbi Rami: Unless your blessings come to you unjustly, illegally, or unethically, your guilt is self-indulgent. Two thousand years ago, Rabbi Tarfon taught, “While it is not up to you to complete the task (of saving the world), neither are you free to abandon it” (Avot 1:16). Do something to make the world a little kinder and more just for your having been born into it, and enjoy all the legitimate blessings that come your way. 

The last 12 months have been hell for me: divorce, illness, and loss of fulltime employment. My friends insist everything turns out for the best. Is this true?

Since everyone’s perspective is partial, no one can know what is “best,” and saying everything turns out for the best is simply a dodge that allows your friends to sound helpful without being helpful. True friends don’t point out some hoped-for paradise just over the horizon; true friends help you walk through the shadowed valley of death (Psalms 23:4) you are in now.

Do you believe our souls choose the lives we live before we are born?

While this helps explain why bad things happen to good people, I worry that such thinking hardens us to the suffering of others. After all, if people contracted for suffering, who are we to alleviate it? The point of life is living kindly, justly, and humbly now, and not dwelling on some imagined before and after.

I’m deeply moved by the teachings of Jesus, but not drawn to Christianity. How can I explain this to Christian friends?