Are You A Bad Mum?

Rachel Porter poses the question you probably ask yourself every day… and shares her reassuring insights.

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You might not have seen the movie Bad Moms yet, but don’t worry, it’s not a spoiler if I tell you that the mums who go rogue on screen aren’t actually BAD mothers. However they are mothers at the end of their tether. And no wonder...

It’s often said that motherhood is the toughest job in the world. And while that may be a slight exaggeration (I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be a mum than a bomb disposal expert, a sewer diver or a crime scene cleaner), it has to be said that life after kids can feel a lot like rolling a boulder up a hill with one hand while washing, wiping, feeding and typing with the other.

When I was expecting my first baby, three years ago, I knew I was about to plunge deep into a world about which I knew next to nothing. But I didn’t realise that sleep deprivation and dirty nappies would be the least of my worries.

I didn’t realise that by becoming a mum, not only would I be permanently knackered, but constantly criticised, too. It’s not that I’m doing a bad job – in fact, these days I’d dare to say I’m doing alright – but I am a mum in the age of opinion. Everyone’s got one and they’re not afraid to let you know about it.

As a 21st century mum, it’s impossible to make even the simplest decision about your own life, or your child’s, without being conscious that someone, somewhere, is tutting with disapproval.

Chorus of disapproval

Knowing that, out there on the Internet or in the news headlines, debates rage about every aspect of parenting; from the relatively insignificant, like how you fill their hungry mouths (‘No MSG. No sesame. No soy. And of course, no nuts, no eggs, no milk, no butter, or salt, or sugar, or wheat’ says the smug PTA mother in