Session Shenanigans

The studio guitarist’s guide to happiness and personal fulfilment, as related by session ace Mitch Dalton. This month: Existentialism for dummies.

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The title ‘Self Employed Musician’ carries with it any number of assumptions, most of them utterly erroneous. But I’ll refrain from trotting out clichés describing sleep patterns which begin and end at 3 (am and pm), heroic consumption of craft beers and an intimate relationship with the Department For Work And Pensions.

The reality is very different. And without engaging in some critical self-analysis, can be as dark as a dawn December commute wearing prescription Ray-bans. So the next time you engage an itinerant ukulele player in conversation, I’d avoid patience-testing enquiries as to what ‘real’ job he undertakes when not attempting to entertain the great unwashed. Unless you’ve a thing about A&E departments.

First off, the combination of constant insecurity and the reliance on random offers can be more than enough to puncture even Mary Poppins’ positivity. And secondly, there is a corrosive emotional aspect to periods of unemployment in the creative arts. Musicians feel defined as much by what they do as by what they are. And by extension therefore, what they don’t.

The loss of any job is a source of anxiety. But when a factory closes or relocates to Slovakia it is rarely accompanied by the notion that you - personally - aren’t good enough. So, before punching ‘Beachy Head’ into your sat-nav, it might be helpful to remember that most of the stuff that happens has little to do with you. Here are just some of the causes of angst in Showbiz, made infinitely worse by the fact that you’ll never know for sure if all or any of the following lies behind your vigil by an apparently disconnected telephone.