In Happiness and Suffering
“DO YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY, OR RIGHT?” I thought to myself as I listened to a business colleague explain how events that had transpired would have been much different if people had listened to him. His words were meant to communicate that he should be respected, listened to, and maybe admired for his foresight.
However, he was not met well by those who were affected by taking the path he had disagreed with. “You’re just rubbing our noses in this crap,” was the feedback he got. “I told you so!” did not make his friends happy when he was seven, and now at 47, it was perceived as snarky, petty, immature, and hurtful.
This colleague wants to be liked. Maxims like “Words are like toothpaste. Can’t put toothpaste back in the tube,” play in our heads. But why do we keep those unhelpful habits of mind? Epigenetics, nurture, nature, habits, insecurities, our need to be noticed—even if for bad reasons—and reptilian mind all help build our hurtful responses to inputs.
What my friend needed was a mental map to a different way of thinking and behaving, one recognizing his natural desire to fill the room with his presence—to be noticed—to connect.
Sadly, his words made us think, “Well, I wouldn’t want him over for dinner, so why keep him in our company?” Later, over drinks—as he slammed a whiskey sour and I sipped a glass of iceless water—he said, “I know I shoulda kept my mouth shut.” But then he added: “But I was right.”
Bu hikaye Spirituality & Health dergisinin January/February 2023 sayısından alınmıştır.
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Bu hikaye Spirituality & Health dergisinin January/February 2023 sayısından alınmıştır.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Giriş Yap
ONE WORD TO BEAT WINTER BLUES: BIOMIMICRY
CREATURELY REFLECTIONS
THINKING ABOUT RESTITUTION
THE HEART OF HAPPINESS
WAITING IN LINE
OUR WALK IN THE WORLD
ENTER THE SAUNA
Journalist Emily O’Kelly shares some uplifting research on the benefits of sweat bathing, a global healing practice not just limited to Northern climes.
the trail of ATONEMENT
One Ashkenazi Jewish family escaped pogroms in Russia and then flourished in South Dakota, but the “free land” of their new homestead had been unfairly taken from the Lakota by the United States. Generations later, a celebrated investigative journalist set out to tell the truth of the Lakota and her family, calculate The Cost of Free Land—and pay it back.
STALKING YOUR Mind
Stalking the Mind is part of an ancient Indigenous American Medicine Way to tame your guilt, fears, and shame. What we’re “stalking” are our thought patterns and beliefs that seem to create the opposite of happiness and wellbeing. It’s a powerful psychotherapeutic journey of healing without the diagnosis or labels.
LEAVING MESA VERDE
After 21 years of service at Mesa Verde National Park, RANGER DAVID FRANKS recently guided his last tour of the pueblos and cliff dwellings. He says he was fortunate to assist the archeologists with a variety of work and never lost his amazement with their ability to figure out how and when things happened. The question he still wrestles with is much deeper: Why they left?
BECOMING YOUR OWN LEAD RESEARCHER IN HEALTHCARE
PEGGY LA CERRA, PHD, downloaded a health app to aggregate her medical records and was stunned to see the phrase \"aortic atherosclerosis.\" What she did next is a helpful model for all of us.
ARCHETYPAL ASTROLOGY
\"Is astrology true?\" is the wrong question, writes RABBI RAMI SHAPIRO. He suggests that the truth is out there, but out there is really in here.
WELLNESS IN THE WILD
Spa aficionado MARY BEMIS takes the [cold] plunge at Mohonk Mountain House.
