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The cabinet's WhatsApp exclusive: don't use the A word in statement
The Guardian
|March 26, 2025
Keir Starmer OK, everyone. I want you to get an early night. It's Rachel's big day tomorrow and we all need to be ready to support her.
Angela Rayner So no going out to a Sabrina Carpenter concert tonight.
Rachel Reeves It wasn't a freebie.
Rayner Matt Pennycook seems to think it was.
Reeves Well, he wasn't at the O2.
Rayner That was rather his point.
Reeves Leave me alone, I've had a tough week. In any case you're in no position to lecture me about freebies. New York ring any bells?
Starmer Now, now, everyone.
Ed Miliband Nice suit, boss.
Starmer Do you think?
Wes Streeting I'm pumped for the emergency budget.
Reeves It's not an emergency budget. It's a spring statement. Why is everyone so down on the Treasury? The economy is actually doing really well all things considered. It's not my fault the Americans have fucked up everything for the rest of us. We just need to re-educate the people about how brilliant we are.
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