THE POWER OF SILENCE

Down memory lane ... like all children, ours too were disobedient sometimes. To show them my annoyance, I would go silent and refuse to talk to them till they realised their mistake.

- PRIYA S. TANDON

Silence was second nature to me. Much later in life, I learnt to express myself and put forth my viewpoint. However, I still prefer the 'silent approach' in many situations.

My Grandma used to say, "Ek chup, te sau sukh!" That was sound advice. In times of argument or confrontation if you keep quiet, you get the chance to introspect; and perhaps realise that it was your fault after all.

If it was the other person's fault, he may or may not mull over it, but it leaves you peaceful ... because you didn't answer back. Because words spoken can never be retracted. They are like arrows that have left the bow. They cause wounds, deeper then arrows.

My aunt used to live in a large joint family. As a teenager I had once asked her how she managed to maintain her poise and calm in the midst of so many family members. She just smiled and covered her mouth with the pallu of her saree. She then plugged her ears with her fingers and smiled. That was the secret... block your ears, shut your mouth but keep smiling!

Some years back I asked a similar question to the senior most couple in a large joint family. They were running the house and funding all household expenses. The lady said, "Mooh band, tae batua khulla!" That was profound!

These learnings, I have gathered over the years.

They are life lessons that perhaps no book can teach. Emotions run high in Indian homes. It is impossible to please everyone. Each generation thinks differently. And when multiple generations coexist in the same house, it takes a lot for the one at the helm of affairs to keep things going peacefully.

Recently, during a loud chatter in a family get together, my two year old granddaughter lisped, "Chup karke baat karo, hamari dolly ne sona hai." Huh? How does one stay quiet and still talk?