MelB I've Figured Out My Road Peaceful Place'

‘To hell and back’ is no cliché to Melanie Brown of America’s Got Talent. For Mental Health Awareness Month, she opens up to Us about finding happiness again after a dark time

- MARIEL TURNER M

Melanie Brown is many things: To most of us, she's Mel B — practically a friend. She's Scary Spice of the bestselling girl group of all time, the Spice Girls. She's a six-season America’s Got Talent fan favorite, now returning to the judges’ table. She’s a mother of three equally creative children, Phoenix, 26, Angel, 18, and Madison, 13. And she’s the fiancée of hairstylist Rory McPhee, a man who awakened a love in her that she’s never experienced.

More than a decade ago, her life looked entirely different. She detailed that incredibly dark and painful period in her 2018 memoir, Brutally Honest. Self-medicating and seeing no other way out, Brown attempted to take her own life in 2014 by swallowing nearly 200 aspirin. “What were you thinking? That the world or your friends and family would be better off without you?” Brown, 49, tells Us about that time. “That's how far along I was in the whole situation of self-loathing, guilt, embarrassment.”

Brown eventually found the strength to leave the relationship she was in and, in 2019, moved back home to Leeds, England. Her next steps: therapy, rebuilding... and happiness! She’s planning her dream wedding while living her best #farmlife in a centuries-old home of traditional stone on 15 acres with goats and more. And she’s taking a welcome detour to L.A. to join AGT for its landmark 20th season (NBC, May 27, 8 p.m.).

Most important, she’s using her voice to help “as many women as possible, especially survivors of abuse,” as a patron for the domestic violence charity Women’s Aid. “I'm getting to know myself more and more, especially where I've come from, feeling so unconfident and unworthy,” Brown says. “I’ve managed to figure out my little road to a peaceful place.” The star talks to Us about healing after heartbreak.

Was the invitation to come back to AGT a serendipitous moment for you?