How can my wife live without her glasses - and even her phone?

It is early in the morning, and my wife and I are setting off on a long car journey.

- Tim Dowling

My wife is driving; I am looking at my phone. It is my plan to look at my phone for at least the first hour, even though it is unlikely my wife will allow this.

“Bit hazy,” she says.

“Hmm,” I say.

“But I think it might burn off later,” she says.

“What?” I say, forcing my eyes up from my phone to the horizon.

“Never mind,” my wife says. I return to my phone.

“Sorry, will you clean these please?” my wife says, handing me her glasses.

“What?” I say. Instead of answering, she drops her glasses into my lap.

“By the way, I don’t approve of this,” I say, overtaken by irritation.

“Of what?” she says.

“I mean, first, I can’t believe how filthy these glasses are,” I say.

“I know,” she says. “That’s why I asked you to …”

“And second,” I say. “I can’t believe you didn’t notice until we’d done eight miles on the motorway.”

“I just realised the haze I was seeing was on my glasses,” she says.

“That’s the best I can do,” I say, handing her glasses back.