Granda Kev

played by Eric Idle, popped up in my head this week while I was pushing newborn grandson Nonchalant N in his pram for the first time while Mam popped into a yoga class to lunge and downward-dog.

- KEVIN MAGUIRE

He was sleeping peacefully when handed over but for the next 60 minutes my joy was stalked by a terror that the lad might wake and start crying.

Experience has taught me when a tiny bairn bawls, they usually want feeding.

But he's breastfed, a task both Stan-cum-Loretta and I are unsuited to perform.