'Show up to that dinner with a 3-litre of anything and you are Dionysus'

While there are many ways to judge wine - depth, balance, structure, expression of terroir - the most important factor is bottle size.

- JOEL STEIN

After all, ata dinner party, what's the ratio of people admiring your Henri Jayer to people annoyed by how you keep talking about Henri Jayer? Meanwhile, you show up toa dinner with a 3-litre of anything and you are Dionysus, delivering a wine that they cannot imagine how you procured. You know that sad feeling ata restaurant when they puta single candle ina regular-sized dessert for someone’s birthday? That’s what your 75cl is like.

A giant-ass bottle of wine signals abundance. It screams ‘party’. When Jesus turned water into wine for that wedding, do you think it was one bottle? He abracadabra'ed more than 120 gallons of wine. Even if all of Cana was invited to that wedding, that’s about a quart of wine per Galilean. If Jesus came back to that party with a glass and a half, we'd all still be Jews.