URBAN DIPLOMAT

Dear Urban Diplomat, I am well into my 30s and still go clubbing to unwind. Lately, my friends only want to attend silent, sober, daytime raves—but these things are like dressed-up networking events: too commercial, too annoying and, frankly, kind of embarrassing. They’re making me feel like a degenerate for wanting to drink while I dance the night away. When did wellness become so boring? What is this, Vancouver?

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UD: Health consciousness has always been boring, but most people make peace with that, usually around your age. If you want to exercise your God-given right to party until dawn, that's your prerogative, just as it's fine for your pals to choose abstinence over indulgence. It sounds like your issue is more that your friends' lifestyles are diverging from yours. It's okay to skip the sober outings, but try to lean in to other activities you can enjoy together.

Dear Urban Diplomat,
After a gruelling post-grad job search, I've finally landed a gig with a good salary, and I've been dutifully sending my parents cash every month, which is common in my culture. One coworker, who was born here, asked why I was skipping out on a big concert this fall. When I told her why I couldn't afford it, she said the whole practice of subsidizing one's parents seems antiquated and unfair, especially in this economy. It's not like they're hard up for cash, so she has a point. Should I keep curtailing my social life for my parents' benefit or cut them off? —WAGE WARRIOR, Playter Estates–Danforth