SIGNALLING

The accidental inclusion of Jeffrey Goldberg, the editor-in-chief of The Atlantic, in a secret group chat of senior U.S. officials has been described as a breach of national security without historical precedent. This is not the case.

- BY ANTHONY LANE

1252 B.C., eastern Mediterranean, Saturday night

ODYSSEUS: O.K., we're in.

DIOMEDES: In where?

ODYSSEUS: Troy. We're inside the walls. They bought it.

MENELAUS: By the golden toenails of Athena, we're in Troy? In a freaking horse?

ODYSSEUS: Sh-h-h. Keep it down, dummy. If they hear us inside this thing, we're screwed.

MENELAUS: Says Mr. Cunning, who always has to have the bright ideas.

NEOPTOLEMUS: Says the dope who couldn't hang on to his wife in the first place. Hey, she'll always have Paris, right?

MENELAUS: To Hades with you, Neo. No wonder you got stuck in the horse's ass.

ODYSSEUS: O.K., enough. Remember, we got to wait a few hours before we get out of here and start pillaging. Till then, the Trojans have to think it's just another horse. A gift horse.

PHILOCTETES: Wise guy, huh?

ODYSSEUS: Zip it, Stinky. Everybody quiet.

Silence.

HEGSETHUS: Mmprrrh. Mmprrrh.

DIOMEDES: What's that?