It was Friday night and snuggling up on the sofa with my partner, Lee, 31, I opened another bag of Mini Cheddars. I polished them all off, followed quickly by a Belgian bun. ‘I’ve got a real craving for these,’ I smiled, rubbing my pregnant tummy. ‘You’re eating for two now,’ he smiled back.
After falling pregnant with our first child months earlier, in January 2011 I’d given up smoking, but instead, I’d replaced my nicotine addiction for a food addiction. I snacked on chocolate and crisps and couldn’t ignore my cravings for pastries. Only, it was taking its toll on my body and by the time our son, George, was born in September 2011, I weighed 23st and was a dress size 26.
At 5ft 5in tall, I hated how big I was. ‘None of them fit,’ I gulped to Lee in the changing rooms of Asda after trying on an armful of jeans and dresses, trying to hold back the tears. Lee tried to console me, but the truth was nothing could make me feel better. I’d do anything to avoid him seeing me naked and made excuses not to go on nights out because I could never find an outfit.
On the rare occasions I did go out, I was often the victim of rude comments. ‘No one needs to see all that on display,’ I heard a man snigger as I walked down the street with a group of friends one night. Swallowing hard, I fought back tears as we continued walking into the next bar and the man’s rude comments echoed in my head. ‘I don’t feel very well,’ I eventually said, leaving early.
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