Love may conquer all, but bills still need to be paid and disagreements over money can become a brutal battleground. The financial impact of Covid-19 just adds to the strain in many households. Unresolved issues can lead to anger, stress, blame and even intimacy problems in a relationship.
Prevention is better than cure, they say. How can we reduce or eliminate the fall-out over finances? Home life is tough enough, what with having to deal with careers, kids and extended family responsibilities – so tackle money issues before they get out of hand.
WHO WEARS THE PANTS?
In an ideal world, both partners are equal. In reality, however, money can strongly influence the power balance, and shift it over time from one partner to the other as circumstances change. One partner may earn more than the other, or one may be retrenched, or one may inherit… There are many unexpected events that can affect this balance.
‘In predominantly capitalist societies, money is often viewed as a measure of success,’ says clinical psychologist Sandy Hoffman. ‘The more money you have, the more successful you are deemed to be, and this value system trickles down and becomes part of family system functioning.’ This can lead to the higher earner feeling a greater sense of entitlement, creating insecurities in the relationship and even resentment towards the partner who is earning less.
An important and easily overlooked fact is that money is not the only currency in a relationship. One partner may contribute more financially, and the other more in other aspects, such as providing emotional support, raising children and managing the household. These may not be as easily quantifiable but are just as important to a healthy family dynamic.
This story is from the September/October 2021 edition of Fairlady.
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This story is from the September/October 2021 edition of Fairlady.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
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