THE 12TH DIMENSION

Sports cards, two embarrassing photos, and Giant trades

Jerry Foley

I was watching CNBC this past week as I am obsessed with the Dow Jones Industrial average as well as the Nasdaq and other economic indicators. I’m that person who combs through his 401K statements on a daily basis even though I’m likely 25-to-30 years away from retirement. As I watched the DOW ticker go crazy (it was one of those days when it was soaring), the segment “coming up” after the next commercial would be covering valuable sports cards.

In the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, like many people my age, I was obsessed with all types of trading cards, but baseball was the sweet spot for me. I was certain that I would not make the same mistake my father and his generation made when they took Mickey Mantle rookie cards and put them in the spokes of their bicycle wheels to mimic the sound of a motorcycle. Not me. My cards went straight from the package to the plastics as they were going to fund my kids' college tuition one day. Well, two of my three daughters are of college age and my precious sports card collection isn’t anywhere close to funding the tuitions of Stockton University and soon-to-be Montclair State.

Nevertheless, the next guest came on and started talking about how sports cards were “blowing up” and how they were once again in high demand. Of course, the most valuable ones are always rookie cards of the greats (like the 1986 Fleer Michael Jordan or the 1952 Topps Mickey Mantle) and even those cards require a grade of something called “GEM MINT 10.” The cost to grade a card is $50 and there is no guarantee they would warrant a “10” grade, so if you plan on submitting your old cards, you better make sure it is close to a 10 or it could be a complete waste of money.

Naturally, I went to Ebay to see what the cards were going for. Ebay is all over the place so just because someone is asking $10,000 for a random Jordan card doesn’t mean it’s anywhere near that value. After seeing some of the asking prices, I raced upstairs to our attic to rifle through tons of binders which held the cards as well as the box I put away about 20 years ago labeled “valuable.”

After I quickly realized I did not have any of the cards they were showing on TV, I naturally got distracted going through other boxes. I came across two photos of myself, I had to be five or six years old at the time, wearing a number “31” Philadelphia Eagles jersey. I brought the box downstairs and when Mrs. 12th Man asked me what I found, I said, “Oh nothing. Nothing valuable.” When she wasn’t looking, I ripped up the photos and threw them in the garbage. While social media is eternal, photos and negatives from the ‘80s are not. There is no proof the photos even existed. They are somewhere in a dump so good luck to anyone who thinks they can find them and embarrass me.