The Art Of The 'Good' Meltdown

Too much stress can lead to destructive emotional outbursts. Here's how to have them the right way

- Elizabeth Bernstein

Preston woodruff held himself together for months during the pandemic working in his garden and workshop, sharing meals with his daughter, and walking in the woods behind his home. Then a sneeze sent him over the edge.

Woodruff was sleeping soundly when he woke to an uncomfortable feeling in his nose. He reached for the box of tissues on his nightstand. None peeked up from the top. He tried and tried to dig one out. The entire wad remained tightly wound.

So Woodruff grabbed the box, crushed it in his hands, and flung it at the far wall of his bedroom. Alone in the dark, he slammed his head back on the pillow and swore.

I momentarily lost it, says Woodruff, a retired philosophy professor.

Welcome to the meltdown. Have you had one lately?

It's what happens after you've held it together through a pandemic and a quarantine, working from home and homeschooling, and the most divisive public discourse in several lifetimes on top of the dishes and the laundry and your regular familial responsibilities. Then, when something seemingly small happens, suddenly you're alone in your car screaming or sobbing to your dog about, well, everything.

Losing control of our emotions is nothing new, of course. But lately we've been doing it a whole lot more because of our sustained levels of stress, anger, and fear. We've been overwhelmed by bad news, exhausted by the need to be ever-vigilant. It's no wonder our fuses have been short.