Crisis of Conscience

Excessive feelings of guilt can eat away at emotional stability and undermine health. Here, some tips to help free your mind—and boost your well-being.

- Stacey Stein

From skipping the gym to not doing more for ageing parents to missing a deadline at work, the average person may feel bad for a host of reasons on any given day— and that’s just scratching the surface. According to Dr Guy Winch, a New York-based psychologist and the author of Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure and Other Everyday Hurts, studies from the past few decades suggest we experience guilt in many small moments in our regular lives. He says those moments can add up to hours a week.

In large doses, he explains, consistent guilt is like an “alarm that doesn’t shut off” and can be distracting and demoralizing, and even affect our health due to the stress it generates. “Unresolved guilt or excessive guilt interferes with cognitive functioning, concentration and daily tasks,” Winch adds. “It keeps us from enjoying life.”

According to the Mood Disorders Society of Canada, guilt can also be a symptom of depression. If any of this sounds familiar, it may be time to take proactive measures. Here are some of the most common sources of guilt, and ways to best overcome them.

The scenario

Your mother calls and when you answer, you’re greeted with the words, “An entire week goes by and I haven’t heard from you!” the effect: Social guilt plagues most of us at one time or another, whether we are dismayed over having let down family members or feeling bad about a fraught interpersonal interaction.