How to take the kids on vacation without losing your mind

Parents may expect their kids to behave better while on holiday. We're setting ourselves up for disappointment.

- June Yong

The bags were packed, itinerary set, and visions of family fun and bonding ran through my mind.

After three months of planning, we were finally on our family vacation to Melbourne some years ago with my three children, then aged four to eight.

But by day two, I found myself whispering threats at one of my children in a crowded airport and bribing them with an endless array of snacks just so we could get through our museum tour.

Minor squabbles over snacks and screen time sometimes spiralled into full-blown tantrums, leaving us parents frantically trying to negotiate peace treaties in public.

By the end of the week, I could not help but wonder: why are family holidays so often marred by meltdowns?

It seems like our children suddenly become badly behaved — perhaps even more so than usual - during vacations. Why is this the case?

DISRUPTED ROUTINES, PACKED ITINERARIES

At home, most families operate within a predictable rhythm: wake-up times, school, meals, play, and bedtime. These routines offer children a sense of safety and stability, functioning as anchors for us to order our days.

For young children especially, routines help them understand what comes next, reducing anxiety and offering a sense of control over their environment.

This predictability is crucial because it allows children to focus their energy on learning and exploration, rather than managing uncertainty or stress.

In fact, according to a systematic review published in the Journal of Family Theory & Review, routines are associated with positive developmental outcomes across cognitive, emotional, and social domains, and even serve as protective factors in high-stress environments.