Yes! My beloved Lidl is top of the (budget) shops again

For the first time in two years, Aldi has been knocked off the top spot as the UK's cheapest supermarket – its main rival, Lidl, stealing the crown. And I, for one, am cheering it on – with a ratchet rattle found in the middle aisle in between a basket of knockoff Crocs and a stack of whiskey-flavoured BBQ sauce, of course.

- FLIC EVERETT

The only naysayers are those who not only have the funds to drift through the spacious walkways of Waitrose, foraging a multigrain sourdough here, a ylang ylang and geranium eye cream there, they are also shoppers who entirely lack imagination.

While they rely on trusted brand names and royal warrants, we Wild West Lidl-lovers enjoy nothing more than a trolley piled with a kilo of 40p carrots, a set of outdoor lights and a box of ludicrously affordable dog treats.

The minute I enter, the fruit and veg aisle lifts my spirits, the way I used to feel standing at the entrance to a dimly lit nightclub, hearing the throbbing beat and knowing I was about to have a great time. Now, it’s all about throbbingly cheap beets, along with giant watermelons, fancy berries and oranges with the leaves still on - which I buy for the full “fruit-bowl influencer” styling opportunity they afford. It’s possible to fill half the trolley with stuff that looks like a “wellbeing” food shoot without breaking 10 quid.