How To Help A Child Deal With Their Grief

To mark National Grief Awareness Week (December 2-8), LISA SALMON asks a psychotherapist how families can support children when a loved one passes away

- LISA SALMON

IT'S hard enough for grown-ups to cope with the death of a loved one. But for children who may not understand what death is, it can be a frightening and bewildering time.

It's hard enough for grown-ups to cope with the death of a loved one. But for children who may not understand what death is, it can be a frightening and bewildering time. And that's where their remaining family comes in.

It's their job to explain what's happened and while that's understandably a daunting task, there's no better time to learn how to do it than in National Grief Awareness Week (December 2-8). The most important thing is to be honest, stresses child and adolescent psychotherapist Jane Elfer. "If you don't tell the truth, it really does impact on the trust the child will have with you, and they will feel frightened in all sorts of ways, devastated, and angry mummy or daddy or whoever it is they loved has died. If you start from a place of honesty, those things can be managed, and there are very good organisations that will help you."

However Jane, a spokesperson for the Association of Child Psychotherapists (ACP) acknowledges that being honest with kids about their loved one's death is extremely hard for adults. "It's the most painful thing for adults to do with little children, because the child will be distraught," she says.