Lord Sugar firing blanks

LIMEY, it's all getting rather heated on THE APPRENTICE (BBC1, 9pm). Last week we had another double-firing. That's two on the trot. If you missed it, what happened was Lord Sugar got really cross, then declared the challenge a draw, kind of. What he specifically said was: "Both teams have lost", which amounts to the same thing, only a bit less flatteringly. "You were both garbage," he added, in case they still hadn't got the message.

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What they'd been asked to do was create their own hot sauce, devise its branding and make a toe-curlingly embarrassing TV ad.

“Toe-curlingly embarrassing” wasn't specifically what he'd told them their commercial had to be, but that's how Apprentice candidates' efforts at ad-making always turn out, so that bit was a given.

As project manager for the team that calls itself Ascendancy (I mean, really), Mia had sounded so confident. "I feel really passionate about the vision I have," she'd told her colleagues.