A Navy SEAL's SECRETS to a Lasting Marriage

I trained to avoid friendly fire. That helped at home too.

- BY Jason Redman FROM THE WASHINGTON POST

IN JULY 1998, I was a young, single Navy SEAL, traveling the world, jumping out of airplanes, shooting guns and training with like-minded, highly capable young men. I decided to host a barbecue, and I invited platoon mates and friends from across SEAL teams.

One of my platoon members said he looked forward to coming. I asked him if his wife was joining. He looked sheepish, paused and said, “No, I don’t think so. Things are not going so well.” A few months later, they were divorced.

And so began a trend that I saw over my 21-year career. The divorce rate among Navy SEALs is extraordinarily high—more than 90%.

A year later, I met Erica. I started our relationship by lying to her. SEALs often create cover stories about their identities. Sometimes it’s for security reasons, but we have found that telling someone you just met that you are a SEAL often creates more problems than opportunities. As Erica and I dated, I maintained the lie.

After almost a month, my training was ending, and I realized I was falling for this amazing person. So I told her the truth: I was a Navy SEAL. I told her I intended to do at least 20 years of service. I told her the job was difficult and dangerous. I would be gone, on average, 280 days a year, and frequently she would be home alone raising children, fixing things and celebrating holidays without me. She said she didn't care. We were in it together.