ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?

In the hope of boosting her relationship, Kim Willis, 42, asks herself some tough questions

- WORDS: KIM WILLIS. PHOTOS: GARETH IWAN JONES

During 17 years with Gaz, we've made each other laugh and cry. We hope our marriage sees us through, but we don't argue well. Since we became sleep deprived parents two years ago, to our son, Heli, we now argue a lot. I cling to hurtful comments, I can be petulant and I need constant assurance and praise. Whereas Gaz can be moody, pessimistic and critical. For a bit of guidance, I dive into the questions posed by the School of Life book How Ready Are You For Love? I hope to understand myself better and strengthen my marriage. But putting a relationship under the spotlight is never easy..

HOW MUCH HOPE DO YOU HAVE OF FINDING 'THE ONE'?

I've found him, but under the scrutiny of daily life, we're both difficult.

Although Gaz's pessimism is a source of frustration for me, the book suggests 'strategic pessimism is the friend of a flourishing love life.' Which means the reality of life with anyone (no matter how perfect they seem) has moments of anger, irritation and misunderstanding.

Perfect people do not exist! So Gaz and I are perfectly' normal. Reminding myself that it's OK to have moments of irritation and misunderstanding softens me, which causes our next disagreement to fizzle rather than flame.

‘LIVING WITH SOMEONE ALWAYS HAS CHALLENGES’

HOW PRONE ARE YOU TO CRUSHES?

I hold my hand up, I often find myself with crushes. I have never acted on any feelings towards anyone else though (although I'm yet to meet Pedro Pascal!). Gaz, thankfully, is so confident and comfortable in our bond that my crushes cause him no issues.

The book explains crushes seem innocent enough but suggest a fatal misunderstanding of psychology. Ouch! The next time I find myself drooling over Pedro Pascal while watching